Leading With and For Compassion – Daniel Stane

Daniel Stane is an international expert in inclusive and compassionate leadership, with over 30 years’ experience inspiring and guiding leaders and teams across diverse industries - from tech and biotech to government and finance. He’s worked with global organisations including Unilever, Cisco, Accenture, British Airways and the UN.

After a successful early career in commercial leadership roles within global organisations, Daniel co-founded Inclusion Partners to support leaders and organisations to evolve a more human approach to leadership and bring about fairer, more collaborative and trusting workplaces. He also has a deep interest in guiding male leaders to cultivate a more balanced approach to leadership, conversant with the rapidly evolving dynamics and expectations of 2020’s workplaces and society.

Daniel’s passion for inclusion is deeply personal. Growing up in 1970s London as the child of Czech immigrants, he learned early what it means to navigate different cultures and feel like an outsider. These formative experiences sparked a lifelong commitment to evolving belonging and fairness in work and life.

Daniel’s approach blends a deep understanding of cultural and generational differences, emotional intelligence, potential-oriented psychology, mindful practices and practical leadership tools to build high-performing, inclusive and courageous leaders able to accelerate positive change and growth. Daniel is known for his insight, warmth and ability to embed learning on a practical level.

Based in London, Daniel is never happier than when dragging his wife and urbanised teenage kids into the wilds on a bike, hiking, skiing, camping or fresh water swimming.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielstane/

[00:00:00] Introduction

James Lawther: Good afternoon and welcome to another episode of Beyond Deming. Today, I’m talking to Daniel Stane from Inclusion Partners. Hello, Daniel.

Daniel Stane: Hello. Thank you for having me.

[00:00:23] Daniel’s Background

James Lawther: My pleasure. Daniel is an expert—though he might not use that word—in compassionate culture. So, Daniel, explain who you are and what you do.

Daniel Stane: Thank you, James. I love that you’ve gone straight for culture—the easiest word to utter, but the hardest thing to work on and develop. If I have any expertise, it’s in guiding leaders to do the hard work of creating human-centric, inclusive, and compassionate cultures. I’ve spent 25 years in leadership development, and for the last decade, I’ve focused on inclusive leadership through Inclusion Partners, working with organisations like the Center for Compassionate Leadership.

James Lawther: And how did you get into that?

Daniel Stane: I started in frontline business and management, leading a global organisation in the 1990s. I asked for training to support my team, and that sparked my shift into development. It’s been 25 years since, with the last decade dedicated to inclusive leadership.

[00:01:44] Topic of Discussion

James Lawther: So what exactly are we going to talk about today?

Daniel Stane: In a nutshell, I’m interested in how we evolve the capacities of courageous, conscious leaders. Leaders who not only model compassion with their teams but also accelerate change in the wider system to make organisations more future-fit and human-centric.

James Lawther: To put it simply, it’s about how you get the most out of your people.

Daniel Stane: Well, leadership is about people. Compassion is about alleviating suffering. Many organisations have good intentions, but their structures—roles, rewards, workflows—often create suffering. Compassionate leadership looks at the causes of that suffering.

[00:02:56] The Reality of Suffering in Organisations

James Lawther: There’s an implicit assumption that people in organisations suffer. Could you expand on that?

Daniel Stane: Compassion has four elements: sensing suffering, engaging with it, empathising, and deciding how to help. Suffering can be systemic—like rigid hybrid work policies—or personal, like a divorce affecting someone’s performance. Compassionate leadership means recognising these challenges and addressing them, whether through support or systemic change.

James Lawther: So, we need to understand the level of suffering in our employees because it impacts their ability to do their jobs.

Daniel Stane: Exactly. It’s about identifying suffering, connecting with it, and asking, “How can I help?” But it’s hard when we’re moving at a hundred miles an hour. We often miss the signs or lack the inner work to sense and respond to suffering effectively.

[00:05:39] Emotional Intelligence and Compassion

James Lawther: Is this emotional intelligence? Is it a skill that can be developed, or is it innate?

Daniel Stane: Emotional intelligence is at the heart of this, but it’s also about ongoing commitment. Compassion is innate—babies show it—but organisational environments often suppress it. We can train ourselves to be more sensitive, attentive, and action-oriented. For example, practising gratitude or checking in with colleagues who seem stressed.

James Lawther: So, it’s a trainable skill?

Daniel Stane: Absolutely. It’s about everyday practices that help us understand and support others. Leading for compassion also means addressing systemic issues, which takes courage.

[00:07:42] Organisational Barriers to Compassion

James Lawther: Are organisations beating the compassion out of us?

Daniel Stane: In some cases, yes. The rise of AI and transactional workflows can erode human connection. People feel anxious and uncertain about their roles, which creates suffering.

James Lawther: Are there red flags you notice when walking into an organisation?

Daniel Stane: Yes, especially during crises or rapid change. Leaders often act out of stress, overlooking the human impact of decisions. For example, layoffs or sudden shifts in workflow can create long-term insecurity. It’s rarely about bad intent—it’s about misplaced priorities. Compassionate leadership boosts engagement, loyalty, and psychological safety.

[00:09:54] The Human Cost of Mechanistic Systems

James Lawther: So, we treat organisations mechanistically and forget that people are at the heart of the system. If they’re not looked after, the system won’t work.

Daniel Stane: Exactly. Connection and understanding are essential. During COVID, leaders realised that isolating themselves in home offices wasn’t effective. Human interaction is critical.

James Lawther: But the “soft stuff” often lacks data. Is there hard evidence that organisations should invest in compassion?

Daniel Stane: Yes. Data shows that people in compassionate organisations are more likely to stay, less likely to burn out, and more willing to take risks. For example, one client started sharing his own failures during check-ins, which encouraged his team to do the same. This created a culture of psychological safety.

[00:11:39] Compassion vs. Empathy

James Lawther: What’s the difference between compassion and empathy?

Daniel Stane: Empathy is about resonating with someone’s suffering—feeling their pain. Compassion is about taking action to alleviate it. Empathy lights up neural networks connected to pain, which can lead to empathy fatigue. Compassion, on the other hand, is pro-social and sustaining. It’s about asking, “How can I help?” rather than just feeling for someone.

[00:16:18] Leading With vs. Leading For Compassion

James Lawther: What’s the difference between leading with compassion and leading for compassion?

Daniel Stane: Leading with compassion is how you show up in all situations—treating everyone, including yourself, with compassion. Leading for compassion is about influencing the system and culture to support flourishing for everyone in the organisation.

[00:17:07] Practical Steps for Compassionate Leadership

James Lawther: What can I do to be a more compassionate leader?

Daniel Stane: Start with self-compassion. How do you show up and stay resilient? Self-compassion is about giving to yourself while giving to others. For example, recognising that struggles are part of the human experience, not just your own. Without self-compassion, you risk burnout.

James Lawther: So, I can’t be compassionate to others unless I’m compassionate to myself.

Daniel Stane: You can’t sustain it. Compassion fatigue is real. If you’re constantly giving to others without replenishing yourself, you’ll burn out.

[00:18:49] Organisational Compassion

James Lawther: What should people think about when it comes to their organisation?

Daniel Stane: Compassionate leadership is about leading with and for compassion. Leading for compassion is the hardest because organisational culture is deeply ingrained. We use a framework called social architecture to design work environments that are more human-centric. This includes roles, networks, routines, and culture.

[00:22:34] Roles and Routines

James Lawther: What can I do to be more compassionate with the people around me?

Daniel Stane: We have a foundational programme with practices like pausing to reflect before making decisions. Emotional intelligence is about recognising what’s going on and acting with awareness. For example, taking a break when you’re stressed or practising gratitude.

James Lawther: Is there anything else I should consider?

Daniel Stane: Emotional resilience is key. Dr. Dan Siegel’s Window of Tolerance model describes our optimal zone for decision-making. When we’re stressed or exhausted, we’re prone to strong emotions and poor decisions. Awareness is the first step—noticing when you’re overwhelmed and taking action to regulate yourself.

[00:25:52] Organisational Culture

James Lawther: What should people think about when it comes to their organisation?

Daniel Stane: Leading for compassion means shaping roles, routines, networks, and culture. For example, roles can be adapted to enable greater compassion, like a chairperson making tea to connect informally with colleagues. Routines, like meetings, can include human-centric elements, such as checking in on how people are really doing.

[00:29:07] Networks and Culture

James Lawther: What about networks?

Daniel Stane: Networks are about how information, support, and emotion flow through an organisation. High-quality connections are vital—mutual, energetic, and positive. Leaders should encourage connections across teams and departments. Culture is about shared assumptions—what’s okay to feel, think, or perceive. For example, how well does the organisation tolerate failure or encourage learning?

James Lawther: Do you have tangible examples of cultural change?

Daniel Stane: Google used to throw parties to celebrate failures because they recognised that success is built on learning from them. Rituals like this reinforce cultural values. Another example is intentional offsites—how well they’re organised and communicated speaks volumes about the organisation’s values.

[00:37:31] Final Thoughts and Takeaways

James Lawther: Any final thoughts or practical takeaways for leaders?

Daniel Stane: Compassion isn’t just about connection—it’s about action. What are you doing to support people and shift the environment? Second, self-regulation is critical. Put on your own oxygen mask first. Finally, you can’t do this alone. Find allies, even outside your organisation, to share and support one another.

[00:39:05] Resources for Further Learning

James Lawther: If people want to go deeper, where should they look?

Daniel Stane: Check out the Center for Compassionate Leadership. They run global programmes. Inclusion Partners also offers open programmes and in-depth organisational support. Visit inclusion-partners.com or connect with me on LinkedIn.

James Lawther: Super. Well, thank you very much for your time.

Daniel Stane: Thanks for the opportunity, James. I’ve enjoyed the conversation.

Compassionate Leadership Overview